How many of you would like to watch a horror movie? Its all a personal choice, but my company doesn't give that choice to many of the employees working in floors above the first.
A daily routine for me would be like parking my bike at the basement of my office after having my regular squabble at the gate with the security guards over the trivial issue of whether he should open the gate before or after taking down my bike reg. number. I have a usual spot for parking my bike. It is the closest to the entrance of the door to the lifts. But I prefer the stairs due to my 'out of shape' physic. But that doesn't mean that I'm not handsome, see, look at me. And as everyone knows, change is never inevitable and so have I changed, just a little. :-)Even 3 floors would take a panting through the stairs. But I feel more pained when I hear the squeaking and whining of the lifts in my building. So I've decided to give it a break from my 15 kg overweight body mass. But, its not practical for many of the associates to feel sorry for the lift and clamber up to their own respective floors.
Our company is very concerned about its 'out of shape' associates that they have made arrangements to facilitate regular use of the stairs so that the 'out of shape' be 'in shape'. One of the many arrangements have been providing a 'scary lift' inside the office itself. Look how nice the company is towards its associates. They don't charge a penny for this service even when people are ready to pay more that Rs. 200 at theaters to watch horrible horror movies or Rs. 500 at some theme park to get the thrill in a sharply dropping roller coaster. The company render this service to its associates through the 'Lift' at our office which can do both, horrify its passengers and drop dead in between its ascend or descend.
'ThomsonKrupp', the manufacturers of the lift, I'm sure, are suppliers of roller coasters as well as acoustic engineers in theaters. The amount of sound effects their lifts are capable of producing would be exceedingly shocking to even sound directors in Hollywood movies. I have personal statements from many of my colleagues about their experience at the 'Killer' lift's. Not one but 4 of them are available at the disposal of the associates working in this office. There have been incidents when the people trapped inside had to call colleagues of theirs asking them to inform the 'alert' lift mechanics of the building to do something about the situation. The lift stops in the middle of nowhere providing no means to raise any kind of alarms, in complete darkness with a eerie silence settling in for initial few seconds after which people respond in various unpredictable styles.
I had a personal experience when I took the lift to the basement. On its way, I could hear creaking sound which later on grew into louder noises which stopped in a last metal breaking one as the lift made its drop at the basement. I was scared, the villain in the horror movie was scared. I couldn't believe it, man. Anyways, making my own movie could possibly involve lesser risks as compared to the risk that every associate is made to endure through an experience in the lifts in our office.
Following will be mandatory instructions for anyone ready to take the plunge in the lift:
1. All Team Members should be accompanied by either their Module Lead, Project Lead or their Group Lead.
2. Don't confuse the lift by pressing buttons while it is in motion.
3. In any kind of emergency, please use your personal phone as there are no phone available in the lift.
4. Any sound from the lift while its operation is for the entertainment of the passengers.
5. In case of any failure of help to come within 1 hour, you can try to open the door yourself. Until then you are required to converse with the people in the lift. It might after all be your golden opportunity to start off with someone you may be interested in the lift. But, if you are alone, you better try to sleep.
6. Full air circulation is ensured by the twin exhaust fans on the top of the lift.
7. The alarm button should be pressed only in case of any emergency. Note: No buttons would work if the lift stops working.
8. Under no circumstances should anyone try to jump off from the lift as we cant ensure that the lift always breaks down at the basement.
9. There will be no lights in the lift during a break down. You can talk to anyone without any inhibitions or shyness, but stay still while you talk.
10. As a precautionary measure, we would hang an 'Out of Service' board outside the lift, therefore there would be minimum disturbance to the entrapments.
Disclaimer: All the incidents mentioned in this article are fictitious and any resemblance would be purely coincidental and thus can be ignored.
